Damn today......

Damn today.... it's like today was one long string of misfortune for me.... though it wasn't completely... I think...

First.. morning... I woke up at my mobile phone alarm... but then slept right back... til I was woken up by my mother... half an hour before 9am.. which should've been the time I left to pick Azie for Curtin...
got my shower... got my breakfast... Kimmy messaged asking about where the meeting was..
And then I drove off....

Picked up Azie... arrived at Curtin... Went to the Student Service, where the meeting for the Curtin Ambassador was supposed to be...
some others were Snow Jae, Serena, Hazel, & some more others that were all degree students and people I don't know of...
Waited there for quite some time before the meeting actually started.... conducted by Ms. Fidela...
Asked us this, asked us that... basically, in my view, this process was to tell us to somehow 'sidetrack' the new students' from realising the bad side of campus life in Curtin.. for example, the food in canteen.. expensive fees... etc...
By the way, we wee introduced to two new people in the staff.... Ms. Christine (Spelling?), the new Student Councillor... & Ms. Rismaliza, the new Students Affairs Officer...
I'm taking this orientation is to be taken care of by Ms. Rismaliza... (will explain later)

We then move deeper into Curtin Ambassador.. turned out, we're supposed to be ready to help the new or (practically) any student on campus on probably anything that they might need help with..
guess what? We're supposed to be wearing Curtin Ambassador tags... that way everyone would know us...
not that I'm against that... but I am against wearing a big lamonaded tag that hangs in front of my chest.. I was hoping for like an actual name tag.. like that of the high school students at least...
Hahaha... plus.. the tags don't have our names on them... instead just the two words 'Curtin' & 'Ambassador', plus a (supposed) random background...
there were suggestions for tags with our name on them, that way the new students could call us by name instead... but I'm not even sure if Ms. Fidela is with that idea....
Kimmy made a joke about it... "Oh, hi, Curtin Ambassador #1... Hi, Curtin Ambassador #2.... hi, Curtin Ambassador with the long hair... Hi Curtin Ambassador with long hair and wear spectacles..." and so on... I hope you get my picture...
Besides that,Ms. Fidela is also planning for a Curtin Ambassador 'uniform' of sorts.... she explained to us that they had given thought about it before this...
First draft was a blazer or coat for the formality, but cancelled cause of hot weather...
Second draft was a normal T-shirt to counter the hot weather... but cancelled cause it was too personal and casual...
Final draft was a vest.. that covered all of earlier weaknesses... down side...
color of uniform had to be of corporate color... which was mainly green!! Die lah!! Ugly leh if like that!!
Thankfully, she had also planned that we ourselves design the vest... the corporate color are green, gold (not yellow) & black....
there was already some ideas for the vest... but this plan is probably executed only in the next semester... (shrugs)

With that aside, we got into the program for the Orientation week... One main word for it... B-O-R-I-N-G....
All talks.. practically completely... with the only fun part about it is the ice-breaking session... unless you count touring around campus as fun....
and yet, the ice-breaking session is only half an hour in the morning, on Day 2... that's it... everything else.. talk talk talk...
unless the Student Council (the existing one) can help with it at the end of the O-week... but then again, I don't know how it's gonna be...
Oh... there will be an O-night at the end of the Orientation weeks... (end of the Foundation O-week).. but Ms. Fidela had no actual plan how to go about it.. or none at all...
I think she might just think the new students would just dance and do some random performances or something... I don't know, honestly...
This part of the meeting over... everyone left, knowing what was needed to be done.. I think..
but we actually never got into the Foundation O-week... according to Ms. Fidela, the whole schedule is the same between Degree & Foundation O-Week...
which is bad... sigh...

when nearly everyone left the room... the only two foundation students there, Azie & I, got to talk with Ms. Rismaliza, the new Students Affairs Officer...
I told her about how I felt about the program... and some of my suggestions to make the O-Week more fun...
She said she too thought so.. but Ms. Fidela shot down her suggestions... her obvious reason related to students sticks with academic and that's it... no need for anything else than study study study....
another obvious reason would be... she just doesn't want to bother to add anything more...
'just straight to the point of the whole orientation's purpose'..... I believe that's what's going on here...
Well.. to be honest, I just don't know how's this O-Week's gonna turn up....
How does Abel does it...? Being able to work against Ms. Fidela and still not be sacked....
cause of his strong support? from the students? some of the lecturers? some of the staffs within the student services? and even the Dean himself?
I've not a clue how he does it...
I fear that going against Ms. Fidela this time would worn up Ms. Rismaliza getting sacked off....
by the way, Ms. Rismaliza just started her work in Curtin a month ago... so she's no experience in how orientation in Curtin works....

OK... pass all that.. we also have a problem... lack of Foundation students in the Curtin Ambassador...
there's so far only two!! Azie & I will need to recruit some more somehow!!
most of our choices are not able to comply with our request....
(so far, for me, I got to round up Nichalos Gala & Albert Wong... hopefully they can join...)
I need more help!! Please!! Those of you who are Foundation student in Curtin Sarawak Malaysia... PLEASE help us out!!!
long shot.. but worth a try at least...

Afternoon... came home... I cancelled my badminton appointment with Roger, Adrian & Kevin cause I just felt lazy to run around for today.... and was really itching to play Kingdom Hearts again... sigh...
Just can't beat Sephiroth, damn difficult this guy....
Oh yeah... I had told my brother to help get my work salary after his work at Grand Palace Hotel...
but then he returned saying that he didn't know where to get the salary and then when he found out... my sister was already waiting for him outside...
Anyway... then we went together to get the salary... though... actually.. he drove me there and I went up to get it...
got it... then headed home... sigh, sheesh... troublesome fellow...
then when I want to return to my Kingdom Hearts game.. he asks to pay Prince of Persia.. all right... I don't mind... since later he has to go to pick up my other sister at the airport...
took my shower and then watched him...
he was facing lots of trouble for now.... and soon enough... he got himselt in a spot that's practically impossible to pass...
life low... pesky enemies with deadly accurate attacks... plus with difficult obstacles...
as I tried to help.. can't... too hard to.. with those damn enemies....
seems that he'll have to restart the whole game again... such a lousy player I should say...
but then again, he rarely plays RPG sort of games... so I guess he's just inexperienced... sigh..

then he drove off with my eldest sister to the airport.. and I stopped to watch some tv... no particular reason for that really...
then when my mother took over the tv, I returned to Kingdom Hearts...
I finally decided to just finish the whole game and then next time completely beat it in Expert mode... including Sephiroth that is...
but then, after a long time to get to the Final boss.... and beating him.. it should've been time for the cinematic scene to get in... but then, guess what?
the PS2 lagged... it just doesn't load the scene.. leaving the whole screen a dark blank....
SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ah! fine... I'll try again another time... now time for dinner....

OK.. now this is where things start to REALLY shit up....
firstly... as I was almost done with dinner.. Azie suddenly messaged me.. and told me that she wants out of Curtin Ambassador... saying she was not capable for it....
I was completely stunned!!
naturally, I told her to stay and what'd happened...
reply... she gotten to think about it and she realised all of the BURDEN....
Reply back... I'll be there to help her through... no matter how 'burden'ful...
thankfully she thought it through before messaging me that she'll stay...
Thank you so much...
with so little help. I just can't have one more help lost just because of the stress and strain of the work.... sigh...

My mood was beginning to slip from good from that...
and got worse later when I found out my computer was acting up... in an annoyingly unpleasant way...
it just doesn't wanna start!! got into Windows.. then jammed....
after I don't know how many tries.... (restarting... starting with safe mode... removing some of the start-ups... etc)...
after one virus scan, with the help of my brother.... I guess things are all right.. though turned out there wasn't any virus or infected files...
by the way.. this whole event happened for an hour.. and plus with not so good mood... I think you can understand how bad my mood got then.... shit...
I was thinking of ways to smash this DAMN computer to bits!!

Big breath in and then out...
well... that's it then....
I don't know why today became SUCH A DAMNED DAY....
but I suppose it was just bound to happen some day....
Guess it had started from yesterday, when my stupid brother got so damn annoyingly stubborn and self-centered...
sigh.. last night the argument between us was worse than before.... Sigh... never thought I'd be yelling so furiously at him... damn fellow...
He often misunderstands what others say (in particularly me)... he always ASS-U-ME what people says, especially me.... I say one thing, he thinks of that and then adds something extra in his mind...
Not only that... he also can sometimes make people misunderstand him... as if he thinks everyone knows what he is thinking all of a sudden...


OK... read this script and tell me what you think...
Brother "Why didn't you install the modem in your computer when I told you to?"
Me "I didn't know how"
He takes out a manual book and throws it in front of me... and then throws the cd for the installation at me....
He goes of to the toilet for a while...
I try to continue with my computer stuff for a moment..
He returns... and stands beside me... "What are you doing?"
Me "My stuff..."
Pause for a while.... I look at him, who was still standing beside me... "What?"
He suddenly retaliates "What do you mean 'what'? I stand here waiting to help you install the modem and then you ask me 'what'?!"

I was like................................... WHAT THE F*CK!!

besides that damned incident from last night... (whihc caused the fierce argument) I think my brother's one who don't know how to respect people... I think he doesn't respect me at all... he may even think of me as an idiot too...
I can still recall... my mother scolded him for not respecting her.... his reply... I know about respect and why don't I respect you?
my mother then emphasized on the difference of knowing and doing it.... my brother, I imagined, just stayed as stubborn as he is.... He just thinks the whole family is against him or something and siding with me only whenever there was an argument between us...
but hey! Who's the one who keeps trying to prove that he's not wrong in the argument?
and as a matter of fact, you were, idiot brother of mine....
sigh... just hate having such negativity inside me... shit...

I really really truly envy those who can care or even love their brothers...
I can NEVER love my brother... I can care for him... but not much.... and some times, at all....
not unless he changes himself for the better...

but whatever... this whole blog is practically reeking of negativity.. enough for now...

- Optimism is good and all... but a little pessimism brings the reality back into your thoughts.