5 Lists of Facts

Just found a few random things in Multiply and thought to share them. Whether true or not, it's up to you to decide, really.
Hope y'all enjoy some of these supposed facts.

Facts About Break Ups

1. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with - don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you, caring about you and wanting a relationship with you are not one and the same.
   
2. Nobody likes to hurt another person, especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end things. Resist this urge! When you use guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.
   
3. Being broken up with does not mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that there is something that is not working in the relationship. Try not to take the rejection too personally. Remember that lots of great people have had failed relationships - the fact that the relationships failed says nothing about their value as a person. The fact that your relationship failed likewise says nothing about you as a person.
   
4. It is all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you are dumped. These are normal natural feelings. Just be sure that you let your feelings out in a safe place among friends or family. Do not make your ex the target of your feelings, even if they have done something to deserve your outrage. The sooner you let go of the other person, the sooner the healing can begin.
   
5. Breaking up is never easy. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have an overly emotional day - you're only human after all.
   
6. Break ups are often followed by one of the parties starting a new relationship and when this happens it can bring up all sorts of old feelings. If you thought you were over someone who broke up with you and find yourself upset at the news that s/he has moved on, rest assured you are normal. Let yourself be upset, it is part of the healing process.
   
7. Acting out in anger is never good for anybody. After being broken up with don't spread mean or spiteful rumors. Don't betray former confidences by telling old secrets to others. If another person was involved in your break up resist the urge to slam them behind their back. Acting vicious only makes you look bad and any satisfaction you may feel will be short lived. In the end this sort of behaviour will only make you feel worse.
   
8. A big part of the pain of breaking up comes from a feeling of embarrassment. We often fear how the situation will look to outsiders. Refuse to be embarrassed, even if you did something outlandish to cause your break up. Letting go of the embarrassment will help you move on to the healing.
   
9. Nobody ever deserves to be hurt. Your ex does not deserve to be hurt because you are hurting. Your ex's new love interest (if one even exists) does not deserve to be hurt just because you feel jealous. You do not deserve to be hurt, even if you acted badly and caused the break up. Breaking up hurts, but it doesn't have to be made worse by holding a grudge or drowning yourself in a pool of if only's. Deal with the reality and let go of your anger, the pain will disappear more quickly if you do.
   
10. Things may seem bleak now but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex. You may get back together someday. You may not. Either way it is better to let go of a faltering relationship while there is still some caring left between the two of you. If you play it out to the bitter end and leave your ex no choice but to hate you to get rid of you, you close the door to the future. Bowing out graciously leaves room for a future relationship with your ex, even if it is just as good friends.

Facts About Love

1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
   
2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
   
3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
   
4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
   
5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
   
6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.

Facts About Cheating

1. When you chat the person who gets hurt the most is you.
   
2. Cheating is a form of lying - if you cheat you are also a liar.
   
3. Just because others are cheating doesn't mean it is OK for you to do so.
   
4. When you cheat in school the short term reward may be a good grade but the long term effect of the action is denying yourself knowledge and the satisfaction of achievement.
   
5. If you feel the need to cheat in school it shows that you need help in that subject. Getting help will curb the urge to cheat and help you succeed in the long run.
   
6. Cheating in a romantic relationship is very un-cool. If you are uncommitted enough to cheat you should break off the relationship and save the other person a great deal of heart ache. The pain and humiliation of being cheated on is never worse than the pain of being broken up with.
   
7. No matter what you tell yourself about your reasons for cheating your motivations are purely selfish. Nobody ever cheats for the sake of another person.
   
8. Telling on a person who is cheating is not "ratting", especially when the cheating directly impacts the lives of others (for example: people cheating on a test that is graded on a curve, or your friend is cheating on his girlfriend). You are not doing anybody any favors by covering up for a cheater.
   
9. It is never too late to come clean about cheating. There will be consequences but when you admit to cheating you have already taken the first step toward making amends and others will respect that.
   
10. Cheating rarely occurs in isolation. It is a fact that it gets easier to cheat each time that you do it, especially if you don't get caught. The likelihood that a person will cheat again is directly related to whether or not they have gotten away with it in the past.
    

1. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
   
2. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
   
3. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
   
4. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

Facts About Trust

1. Trust is a two way street; you get it if you give it. For example: if you want your parents to trust you try trusting them with the truth about what is going on in your life, if you want a relationship built on trust you have to trust in the other person as much as you do in yourself.
   
2. Parents will usually give trust freely until you do something to break it. If this isn't the case in your family and you really can't see why your parents don't trust you just come right out and ask them for an explanation.
   
3. Sometimes people don't trust you because of the actions of a person close to you. It is all too common for the behavior of older siblings or friends to cause parents and teachers to doubt you. Accept that this is what is happening, don't fight it, and work at proving that in spite of the actions of others you can be trusted.
   
4. Sometimes trust has to be earned. If you had trust but did something to break it, it is possible to fix things. But in doing so remember that as the trust breaker you don't get to set the expectations, terms or time frame for earning that trust back.
   
5. In order to fix broken trust both sides have to want the trust back. You can never force a person to trust you.
   
6. Your parents want to trust you! What you see as mistrust of you could really be fear, mistrust of those around you and/or their natural protective instincts at work.
   
7. Some people have been so badly hurt in the past that they have great difficulty trusting others. If you have a person like this in your life accept that there will always be an element of mistrust in your relationship and be prepared to work overtime to prove that you can be trusted.
   
8. Trust is an essential part of ALL successful relationships be they academic, romantic, friendly or familial.
   
9. Trust is an essential part of sex - if you don't trust your partner 110% don't have sex with them.
   
10. Trust is a gift - you give it and you receive it. It should never be taken for granted.

Facts About Lies/Lying

1. Lying is the number one reason that people lose trust.
   
2. The most common reason that people lie is to avoid confrontation. Getting in trouble is never fun but lying to avoid it is always a "band-aid" solution. When the truth comes out the confrontation is guaranteed to be even more unpleasant than it would have been without the lie. A lie compounds the problem, it doesn't solve it.
   
3. Another common reason people lie is to make themselves seem "better" or more interesting. This sort of lying can be a sign of low self esteem, problems at home, or depression.
   
4. Lies are like dominos - one lie can knock out whole relationships, destroy entire aspects of your life or even limit your future in unforeseeable ways.
   
5. Lies are a gamble. Every time you lie you gamble with being caught.
   
6. Lies have a way of getting out and coming back to haunt you.
   
7. The worst lies are the ones you tell yourself. When you lie to others you are also lying to yourself.
   
8. Chronic lying can signal a psychiatric or social disorder. If you find yourself "lying for no reason" or to cover up behavior that you know is harmful consider seeking professional help.
   
9. Lies can damage your self image and cause inner conflicts (like dissonance) that drastically change the way you view, and act upon, the world and other people.
   
10. "Little white lies" are lies that are told about superficial things and are told when the truth would only serve to hurt another person. They ARE NOT told to avoid confrontation or cover up the harmful actions of another person. For example: telling another friend that a haircut looks good when you don't really like it is a "little white lie", telling your parents that you are spending the night at a friend's house so that you can stay out past curfew is NOT.